Today, I think I’ll attempt to head to the fabric store with the kids. This is never an easy feat. The place is cramped, and I am indecisive, Clara is impatient, and Lillian is heavy in her baby carrier. BUT I need to make a Halloween costume for Lil! I have procrastinated to a ridiculous point, and grandparents are going to be bummed if baby doesn’t show up at the door in a costume. Clara already has hers, purchased by her Nana- a sparkly pink fairy princess, of course! I was thinking Lil could be a Lily, how appropriate! Thisis simple and great because she can stay in her carrier, and she doesn’t really have to “wear” anything uncomfortable.
At the mention of procrastinating, it brings me to the point of my Halloween animals. Here are a few of them, unfinished. And rather sad and forlorn looking, I might add. Look at that poor brown bear’s face! Boo hoo! I am finding it really, really hard to find a good balance between creating and mothering. I cannot seem to find the time in the day for both. I know I have talked (whined) about this here before, but I feel compelled to mention it again. It just baffles me why I can’t seem to find the energy or time to make a handful of cute critters. Months, it takes me, stealing moments here and there. I daydream mostly, making sketches and jotting down ideas, getting inspired. I have to plot out how I will use these stolen moments when they sneak up on me. Ready, set go! Make something as fast as I can; an arm, an ear, a dress for a bunny, before the kids wake up or someone cries out for assistance or juice, or whatever else. I have a very hard time creating under pressure. And I know I’m not the only mother/artist in this boat. We all are in it together. How do you find a balance? I feel like my JOB is to be a mom right now. I decided that it would be best to stay at home with my children, and I feel rather guilty when I am not devoting myself to that task. I know that if I really wanted to create, I would make the time for art. But when everyone is finally in their beds at night, I find all I want to do is crawl into bed myself. I used to be able to stay up late, finding that nighttime was my most creative time. Now it is my comfy jammies, good book, a bit of TV and then flat out asleep by time.
I am going to figure this all out. I need to take some time to recharge my creative batteries. I’m going to start working on different projects entirely when I get a few moments. I need to venture outside what I’ve been making for years to sell, and really try to do something else…something frivolous and personal and old-fashioned. Like quilts or rug hooking or crosstitch. I don’t know. I’m rambling on, but I feel a bit better, to get a little bit of that out in the open. I hope you are all having a lovely, creative, productive day! Some cupcakes for you! (No problem finding time to bake!)