Today, I think Iâ€™ll attempt to head to the fabric store with the kids. This is never an easy feat. The place is cramped, and I am indecisive, Clara is impatient, and Lillian is heavy in her baby carrier. BUT I need to make a Halloween costume for Lil! I have procrastinated to a ridiculous point, and grandparents are going to be bummed if baby doesnâ€™t show up at the door in a costume. Clara already has hers, purchased by her Nana- a sparkly pink fairy princess, of course! I was thinking Lil could be a Lily, how appropriate! Thisis simple and great because she can stay in her carrier, and she doesnâ€™t really have to â€œwearâ€ anything uncomfortable.
At the mention of procrastinating, it brings me to the point of my Halloween animals. Here are a few of them, unfinished. And rather sad and forlorn looking, I might add. Look at that poor brown bearâ€™s face! Boo hoo! I am finding it really, really hard to find a good balance between creating and mothering. I cannot seem to find the time in the day for both. I know I have talked (whined) about this here before, but I feel compelled to mention it again. It just baffles me why I canâ€™t seem to find the energy or time to make a handful of cute critters. Months, it takes me, stealing moments here and there. I daydream mostly, making sketches and jotting down ideas, getting inspired. I have to plot out how I will use these stolen moments when they sneak up on me. Ready, set go! Make something as fast as I can; an arm, an ear, a dress for a bunny, before the kids wake up or someone cries out for assistance or juice, or whatever else. I have a very hard time creating under pressure. And I know Iâ€™m not the only mother/artist in this boat. We all are in it together. How do you find a balance? I feel like my JOB is to be a mom right now. I decided that it would be best to stay at home with my children, and I feel rather guilty when I am not devoting myself to that task. I know that if I really wanted to create, I would make the time for art. But when everyone is finally in their beds at night, I find all I want to do is crawl into bed myself. I used to be able to stay up late, finding that nighttime was my most creative time. Now it is my comfy jammies, good book, a bit of TV and then flat out asleep by time.
I am going to figure this all out. I need to take some time to recharge my creative batteries. Iâ€™m going to start working on different projects entirely when I get a few moments. I need to venture outside what Iâ€™ve been making for years to sell, and really try to do something elseâ€¦something frivolous and personal and old-fashioned. Like quilts or rug hooking or crosstitch. I donâ€™t know. Iâ€™m rambling on, but I feel a bit better, to get a little bit of that out in the open. I hope you are all having a lovely, creative, productive day! Some cupcakes for you! (No problem finding time to bake!)